10 reasons to vote Democrat by David Letterman (Letterman didn’t write these, but they were fashioned after his well known comedy routine – Letterman did write the ones you will find at the end of the post):
#10. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want…… I’ve decided to marry my German Shepherd.
#9. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn’t.
#8. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
#7. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
#6. I vote Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.
#5. I vote Democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.
#4. I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.
#3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party sees fit.
#2. I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
#1 reason I vote Democrat is because I think it’s better to pay billions for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here in America.
Albert Einstein summed it up nicely when he said, “The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.”
I know you all will appreciate the best description of Obamacare so far:
Remember when Nancy Pelosi said: “We have to pass it, to find out what’s in it.”
A physician called into a radio show and said: “That’s the definition of a stool sample.”
The following are from Letterman!
TOP TEN SIGNS THERE’S TROUBLE IN THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY
10. Obama’s slogan ‘Yes we can’ changed to ‘Thought we could’
9. Joe Biden asked to see the president’s birth certificate
8. Only running campaign commercials in Mexico
7. Their top advisor – The ‘Rent is too damn high’ guy (Not a clue what this means – RF)
6. They got a ‘Hang in there’ text from Brett Favre
5. Gave up on campaigning to go see ‘Jackass 3-D’
4. Replaced old playbook with ‘They Call Me Baba Booey’ by Gary Dell’Abate (Not a clue what this means – RF)
3. Only cheered up by Barney Frank’s hilarious Buddy Hackett impression
2. Nancy Pelosi found in hotel room drunk and naked with Charlie Sheen
1. Even FOX News feels sorry for them
These are good but not as funny are the ones at the top of the post. I wish I knew who wrote them. I’d happily give him/her/them credit.